no son, you weren’t meant to see mama giving you the finger

(not my kid)

(not my kid)


So as the title of this whinge..ahem, post… suggests, sometimes I am guilty of being THAT mother who sometimes is spiteful enough to flip her 3 year old, or both of them for that matter, the bird, (when their not looking, of course) Yes it’s childish, and no it does not set a great example, but it sure does make me feel good and laugh a little. We have all been there, spent what seems like 37 hours straight disciplining, made a thousand trips to the time out step, spent all day threatening ‘hard room time’ and taken away every toy they own until the top shelf of your closet looks like a ToyWorld warehouse, and still they continue to laugh in your face. Now, I know we, as parents are all supposed to be pillars of morality, and practice what we preach (and so on and so on, you know the drill) but the truth is there are times when I’m not, and times when I don’t. Sometimes, i’ve exhausted every possible parenting technique that Super Nannny has to offer me, the kids are STILL trying to choke each other with the chords on their toy phone (yes they have landlines) and I feel like pitching a fit.Now, I’m not immune to the occasional tantrum, but in this instance my immaturity took the form of waiting until my backchatting 3 year old had turned his back, and I did it. I sunk to THAT point, I stuck my tongue out and gave my own son the finger. Was I proud? No. But, strangely it did feel a little satisfying. That is, until he spun on me mid gesture. Now to most people this would be ok, but both my sons seem to be intellectual freaks who will pick up on something if it is done in front of them in just one instance. ‘Pretend you didn’t do it’ I told myself ‘Just like when Mum used to catch you doing it to her, pretend you were scratching something.’ So that’s what I did. To no avail. Mr 3 then spent the whole afternoon teaching Mr 2 how to manipulate his fingers ‘just so’ and then both would stand at the window waiting for people to walk past our house (I didn’t dare take them out) and simultaneously flip the bird at anyone who looked. Some thought it was funny, but we live in a neighourhood with quite a lot of elderly walkers and most just seemed disgusted. ‘Now we are THOSE people with THOSE kids, great just great, I only did it once, how do these kids learn THAT so quickly, but the word ‘No’ means nothing after hearing it possibly 375,000 times in their lives.’ So their ‘greeting of the neighbourhood walkers’ continued, and I wondered what I could do about it. Can I really discipline them for something I unwittingly taught them? Well..here’s where the fun of being the parent comes into it. Yes, yes I could, and pass it off under the ol’ ‘do as I ask not as I do rule’..right??? Wrong. See, as I mentioned before, my boys seem to be intellectual freaks who apparently have learned their mothers highly coveted skill of justifying their every action, right or wrong, by claiming precedent. So, as I was politely explaining to the little cherubic angels that no matter how big the smile on their face and no matter how cute they were, that it was very very rude to give our new neighbours the finger, that they didn’t like it at all, even if you waved too, Mr 3 (quickly echoed by MR 2) came out with the words every mother dreads hearing.

BUT.YOU.DID.IT.MAMA

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